Personal History
By Jadi Luella Hancock
March 26, 2012
My name is Jadi Luella [Crawford] Hancock and I was born June 22, 1989 in Salt Lake City, Utah. My parents are Bryan Dwaine & Dana Rene’ [Christensen] Crawford. My paternal grandparents are Richard Dwaine & Loraine [Nielson] Crawford, and my maternal grandparents are Franklin Jay & Luella [Hutchinson] Christensen. I have an older brother, Shiloh Clint, and a younger sister, Hillary Dell. My middle name is after my Grandma Luella, who I never met in this life because she died of a lifetime battle of diabetes 11 months before I was born. However, I feel like I have always known her, and I hold her dear in my heart. My mom had a mission companion while on her LDS mission in Auckland New Zealand, and her name was Katie. My mom wanted to name me Katie, but felt there were too many Katie’s, so she chose something close to it—Jadi.
I was born in Salt Lake City, Utah just as my dad was finishing graduate school. We moved to La Jara, Colorado just 8 days after I was born. On August 6, 1989 my dad gave me a name and a blessing. I was born into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, to my parents who were married and sealed in the Jordan River Temple. This has always been a blessing in my life.
Thinking back, the earliest memory I can remember happened about a week before my 3rd birthday. We were at the Denver Temple because my Uncle Bart and Aunt Christie were getting married. I still remember waiting outside and when they walked out.
In August 1992, my family moved from La Jara, Colorado to Colorado City, Colorado. We lived there until 1997, right before my 2nd grade year when we moved 5 minutes away to Rye, Colorado. We stayed in the same school and ward, Rye Ward.
I was baptized on my 8th birthday, June 22, 1997, by my dad. It was also Father’s Day that year. Enjoying church came easy for me. I don’t remember missing more Sundays than I can count on one hand all while growing up. I am deeply thankful for my parents and their example and teaching me and helping me become who I am today.
While growing up I always enjoyed learning and going to school. At the same time, I didn’t have a lot of close friends. I had friends, but nobody I got very close to. Middle school was when I realized I was kind of lonely. I spent my time with Danielle Golladay, Alyssa McDonald, Jordan Hamler (the one other member of the church in my grade) Krista Ellis, and Lizzi Snyder. I was very shy and quiet. Most days I found myself just following them around and listening to their conversations. I was not very confident. I enjoyed being home the most. At this time of my life, I loved cats and horses, learning to play the piano, and cross-stitch, which my mom taught me. I also liked to draw and wished I was a good drawer and painter.
Growing up, we always had horses, dogs and cats. We had a German Shorthair dog named Purdy, who we had for 14 years. We had several cats, but our indoor gray cat named Ornery is who has been with us the longest, 14 years and counting today. We had several horses including: Tivio (dad’s stallion, who he loved), Splash, Scarlet (Lori’s old horse), Maria (the mother of a lot of the colts we raised), Cash, Dolly (my horse), Rose, Dancer, Skip, Mariah, Bearbait (grandma’s and grandpa’s horse we always rode), Pilgrim, Ghost, Starlight (Dolly’s colt), and Moonbeam. The earliest horses I remember are Spider and Rojo. We also had a blue parakeet who lived for years and years named Nephi. At one point my grandparents gave us all a calf to raise. We eventually sold all but one, Bessie, who we milked and who had several calves. Dad used to buy sick calves at sales so we could nurse them and raise them, but that didn’t last for too long. Each of us kids also got rabbits at Easter time once in a while. I had a couple white rabbits I named Whitey 1 and Whitey 2, and another brown and white one named Spot, and a white one with gray ears, nose, legs and tail I named Gray Ears.—I was so creative!
In Rye, we lived on a dirt road in a house with 40 acres of property, which is where I spent most of my life growing up—2nd grade-summer after high school graduation. It is in the foothills of the Greenhorn Mountain. On our property we had a big hill we would always go sledding on in the winter. There were oak trees all over our property—which is why our property was named Oak Shadows. We had a small barn and corral, and a couple round pins my dad built. We had three apple trees, one black walnut tree, and one plum tree in our yard. Out in the field, we had chokecherry trees, plum trees, and more apple trees. My mom would often make plum jelly, plum syrup, and plum butter after we spent a day picking all of them. We had two flower beds, and once in a while we had a garden of tomatoes. We often saw deer on our property, and there was even a summer when there was a bear living out in the oak trees. There was a creek not too far from our house that we could sometimes hear at night. You knew it was spring time when you could hear the crickets and the frogs all night. Dad would take us riding horses “down the road” in the summer evenings, which meant we would ride from our house all around the area in neighboring properties. I loved those summer evenings, and they are some of my favorite memories. In my mind, Rye was the perfect place to grow up. To me, it is the most beautiful place on earth.
In 7th grade I began my first sport—track. I knew I was a pretty good runner, so I gave it a try. It soon turned into my favorite sport which lasted all the way through high school. I ran sprints, like the 100m and 200m, along with relays. My 8th grade year was my favorite of my middle school years. Even though I did not have a lot of close friends, I started developing my love for piano, my interest in art, and I did well in track. I also ran cross country that year, and played basketball, which I did not enjoy. In track that year we were district champions as a team. I broke the 200m school record, and placed 2nd at districts. My medley relay team broke the school record, and my 4x400 relay team broke the school and district record, winning 1st place. I had only run the 400 a couple times by then. At the awards ceremony my 8th grade year, I was awarded the Outstanding Student of the Year Award, which only went to one girl and one boy. I was sad 8th grade was over, and I remember being nervous for high school to start. However I made a goal before even starting high school that I wanted to become valedictorian.
Here is an entry from my journal for the day I left for college:
“I can’t believe it…I left for college today. Right now mom and I are in a hotel in Rock Springs, Wyoming, and we are going to go on to Rexburg tomorrow. It feels completely different from what I thought it was going to feel like. I thought I was going to cry and have a lump in my throat the whole way, but I didn’t get close to crying. I am excited and I feel like I have no reason to stay in Rye, so it is time to move on.
This morning at 8:00, I went to Mrs. Van Oort’s house and we went for a walk for about 45-50 minutes. It was so good to see her and talk to her. I’ve seen her on the road a few times and we’ve emailed a little, but that’s not the same as visiting with her in person. We just walked up her road on Old San Isabel, then we turned down a dirt road. It was absolutely gorgeous. It is so green, and the mountain is right there and the sun was out and shining. We had a good talk. Gosh, I already miss her a lot. She liked my car and mentioned they thought about buying a Passat, but they are small for a family. She gave me my creative writing story that I wrote my junior year. She started typing it for me last summer, so she has had it since then. I know last year her dad read it while he was in the hospital and really liked it, so that was neat. She gave me a card that she made, and it is cute. I love what she wrote in it too. She talked about how we both shared our beliefs with each other and she hopes and prays that even though we have differences in our beliefs that will not separate us in the after life. She told me I made a real impact on her and I was a blessing to her. She told me thanks for living my beliefs for all to see. Before I left, she showed me her hallway where she hung the painting I gave her. She textured the wall and painted it to go with the picture! It looked really good.
It’s amazing how after I left her house I just felt ready to go. I was glad she was the last person I said goodbye to, and then I was ready. It makes me so happy that I impacted Mrs. Van Oort, because I know that a few years ago she was very against the church and bashed it some. Now she definitely doesn’t, and every time we talk about faith, we talk about the things we believe…not what I believe and what she believes. I’ve always felt strongly about her and to share the gospel with her. Now she respects the church. I feel like I did what I needed to do, and now we very good friends, and hopefully we’ll keep in contact for a long time. She definitely was my lifesaver through high school in more ways than one.”
After high school I left for college and was in Freshman Academy for 6 weeks before my first semester that fall. I will always be so glad I did Freshman Academy because I learned so much, and I met my best friend Amber Lusk, who I see as a lifetime friend. I also started going on dates, which flattered me because I had only been on about 2-3 dates before.
September 27, 2008
“So much has happened lately, and I feel bad I am getting behind, but I have been busier than ever. I’ll start with Thursday last week. I usually go for three mile runs every night about 9:30 or 10:00 at night. I went that night with mixed feelings. I have really started liking Alex and I don’t know what he thinks about me. I had been doing a lot of homework, so a run is exactly what I needed for my break. When I got back to my apartment I heard one of my roommates Melody say, “there she is, watch her face.” I walked in and Alex was sitting there on the couch and Marissa and Melody were there talking to him. I was so happy to see him, and I was happy to find out the next day that he came and asked for me. We all watched a little bit of TV, then I remembered I had brought my first cake home from cake decorating class, so I offered everyone some. Alex and I ended up sitting and talking in the kitchen for 45 minutes or so while Mel and Marissa were in the living room watching TV. It made me so happy. We talked about my classes and his work and both our families a little bit. He even did the dishes we used for the cake. We talked quite a bit longer, then we finished watching a movie with Marissa and Mel. He stayed for almost two hours! He had been invited to dinner in the apartment two above us, and he decided to come visit me right after.”
Right before my first semester started, on September 1, I went with Amber’s family to Jackson Hole for the day. I loved being with her family! I love her mom and dad, and will always remember how great they were towards me. We hiked around the Tetons and rode a ferry across Jenny’s Lake. We walked through all the shops in Jackson, and that night we went to a Bar Jay Wranglers dinner and show. That same month, Amber’s dad got killed in an accident.
“Shiloh called me Tuesday night and asked what I had planned for Wednesday night. I said nothing, and he said he was coming back to Rexburg and we should do something! I was so excited and realized swing and country dancing is on Wednesday nights, so we planned to go dancing. I talked to Alex on Facebook for about half an hour and told him about that, and he thought it was awesome.
Wednesday went better. Shiloh got here about 7:00, just in time to go dancing. We started with the swing dancing and moved to country dancing. Alex told me he was country dancing, and I wanted Shiloh to meet him. I missed the text, but an hour and a half into dancing Alex texted and wondered if I was dancing, which made me happy. It had been about four years since Shiloh and I danced together, so it was so fun! I found Alex, and they met. Shiloh later told mom that he was very impressed with him. We danced once, but I felt dumb because I didn’t know the dance he wanted. It turned out ok though.
Shiloh and I left and he took me home. I looked on my phone and I had missed texts and calls. Alex had tried to call me so I called him. He told me to call Amber because there was a family problem and she wasn’t able to get a hold of me. I immediately called her and when she answered all I could ask was what was wrong. I was outside sitting on a curb in the parking lot, and she told me that her dad died an hour ago! I was absolutely shocked, and I didn’t know what to say or how to react. I think it almost took a minute to register. We talked for a little while, but she had to go because all her family was there. I texted Alex and wondered if she had told him. I called mom and I started crying as soon as I told her. I hung up soon because I was getting a call, and I figured it was Alex. It was, and we talked for about 8 minutes. I was crying a little bit and I told him I didn’t know what to do for Amber. He gave me a lot of advice and he told me about an experience he had on his mission. Mom had called Shiloh in the meantime and he came and sat by me while I was talking to Alex. Alex and I started talking about the atonement and Plan of Salvation, and how thankful we both are to have that knowledge. Alex told me I am such a good friend to Amber. I was so glad he talked to me like that. It really helped, and I think it just made me like him more because I can tell he has a strong testimony, and he sincerely cares about people around him too. That is why Shiloh was so impressed by him.
I cried quite a bit that night. I told my roommates and we had apartment prayer. Marissa and I talked until 1:30 in the morning, and then I still couldn’t fall asleep after that. The next day I had class at 7:45 am, and that was a very long class. I was so close to tears the whole time, and I was running on about three hours of sleep. After I got home Mel and I went to the store and I bought flowers and a vase for Amber. Whenever Amber and I go shopping together she always looks at the flowers and loves them, so I bought a dozen white roses with purple and white Baby’s Breath and a purple vase since purple is Amber’s favorite color. I also wrote a letter to Amber, and in it I bore my testimony. Before I left I called Alex to see if he wanted to go too, but he had work and we made plans to go later that night. Amber loved the roses! She and I put water in the vase and put the flower food in it. She wasn’t crying at the time, but I gave her a big hug. I feel so sick for her mom. She was crying, and I gave her a big hug. She told me how much Paul liked me. She said he always said I was a cute girl and there wasn’t a better friend for Amber. That made me so happy! I told her that I loved her and their whole family and they were the ones that are a blessing to me. I stayed with Amber for about four hours. We went on a lot of walks and sat in the park and in a swing on her lawn. There were people coming and going the whole time and bringing food and everything. Every time someone new came Amber’s mom would break down all over again.
I feel horrible for Amber’s mom because she witnessed Paul’s death. They were taking their nightly walk together and just talking. A car came up behind them and Leah moved out of the way real quick, and Paul didn’t in time and was hit. Leah said that he went flying and she knew right away he was gone. I guess he got messed up pretty bad. The guy that was driving the car graduated with Amber and was getting ready to send mission papers in. It makes me so sad, but they all had blessings and were all told that Heavenly Father needed him to do some work. Amber said she feels at peace about it, but it still feels like it isn’t her dad. I fear when it catches up to her and she notices his absence. I was so glad Shiloh was here. After I got back and finished class, I went to Shiloh’s and he gave me a blessing. He said he had never cried through a blessing until now. It was a powerful blessing and just what I needed. He said Heavenly Father was extremely proud of me and that I have a tender heart and care towards those around me and that he notices all the little things I do. He said that I have been and will be blessed for it. After Shiloh gave me the blessing we were both crying and he asked me if I felt the Spirit. I said yes, and he said that it was truly from God. Shiloh left later that night for home, and I know it was no coincident that he happened to be here for the 24 hours when everything happened. It is amazing how Heavenly Father works and how much he cares.
It was also during my first semester of college that I met my husband, Brian, even though I didn’t know at the time that we were going to be married.
Near the end of October on a late night I was doing homework and I went out in the living room and there were two guys with Whitney. I didn’t know them, but they were in the ward. Their names were Brian and Trevor. Brian was helping Whitney with her computer. I looked awful because I was in my running clothes and I had just gotten back from a run earlier, but I still went and talked to them a little bit. Alexis, Mel, Whitney and I were there. They saw our “Walking through the Broom Hall of Fame” on our wall and asked what that was. So, of course, I was the one elected to show them what walking through the broom is.
About half a week after Brian and Trevor came to our apartment we were doing homework in mine and Marissa’s bedroom. Whitney was on my bed and I was at my desk. The apartment phone started ringing, but it’s kind of Whitney’s phone because she doesn’t have a cell phone, so anyone who calls it always asks for her. I went running to get the phone for her, and she told me to answer it, but I said no, it would be for her (we were all in our usually hyper and delirious moods). She answers and hands the phone to me. I didn’t know what to expect, but turns out it was Brian. He had to remind me who he was, because honestly I couldn’t think, but that was ok. He asked me on a date to go with him and two of his roommates to the haunted mill on the following Saturday. I was so excited because I had wanted to meet new people and get asked on dates. I was nervous because I didn’t really know any of them.
After my first winter semester, Shiloh, Brian and I drove to Colorado and met my parents at the Denver Temple. We planned to do baptisms all together, and it was the first time Brian met my parents.
At the end of winter semester Brian came home with Shiloh and I. We also gave another girl a ride to Colorado, so there were four of us. We left Rexburg 4:00 am to get to the Denver Temple, where we were meeting mom, dad, and Hillary. This would be the first time they would meet. I was so excited! I knew mom and dad would love Brian, and I knew Brian would love them. It was a ten hour drive to the temple, and Brian and I played games on paper and we kept writing notes to each other, which made me happy.
We were an hour later getting to the temple than we thought, but dad called the temple and they said our appointment was an hour later anyway. I don’t know how that happened because that wasn’t the time we set, but it worked out perfectly. (There ended up being a family doing family names, and they really needed the help of more priesthood, so Shiloh, Brian, and dad were able to help them, which was special.) When we got to the temple we had to hurry right in because we were getting late, so we didn’t get to talk much. I think dad scared Brian to death just because he was quiet at first and was trying to get us to hurry in. We did baptisms and Shiloh baptized us. (Dad was helping with confirmations.) I remember sitting on the benches waiting and sitting with Hillary, Brian, and Shiloh. I looked across the room and across the font where mom was sitting. She was crying. Shiloh leaned over to me and said he thinks she is having a hard time. I was so glad we were all there together.
When we were done and walking out of the temple, dad told us he wanted to talk to us and led us to the fountain in the front. He said that he had something to say that should have been said earlier, but wanted to do it in a place such as the temple and when we were all together. Then he started to cry. I think that is the first time I have ever seen him cry. I went stiff and couldn’t even imagine what to expect. Mom and Hillary started crying too while dad was struggling to even speak. He then said that mom had found a lump in her breast a month before. They went to the doctor to have it checked, and it was breast cancer. I gripped Brian’s hand tighter, and started to cry. I saw how tender the love between my mom and dad was, which I hadn’t seen like that before. The cancer was the most common kind and was in the early stages, so it was good she found it early. She told us that she was getting ready to bed one night and saw it in the mirror. It was almost like it popped out at her. I know it was a blessing that she found it early, and Heavenly Father’s hand was in it.
That same week, on April 17th, Brian asked me to marry him.
We started the hike, and it was beautiful! We were high up on the mountain where you could look down and see the Salt Lake Valley again. It was a little chilly, but it was sunny. It was early evening, so when we got higher we could see the sun’s rays shining through the clouds. When we got to the top, I was ahead of Brian. I looked and saw a red blanket set out with a basket and a dozen roses. There were red candles and champaign glasses with sparkling cider and candy. When I first saw it I thought, “Oh no, someone is like, getting engaged or something. Maybe we shouldn’t be here so they can have their space.” I turned around to see what Brian thought, and when I turned, I found him on one knee opening a box to reveal a ring. Oh my goodness! I was the one getting engaged! He told me that I was the sweetest girl he has ever known and that he loves me so much. He said he wanted to spend eternity with me. I always wondered what this moment would feel like. At that moment, every time in high school when I stayed home from a party or didn’t have a date to a dance because nobody liked my standards, and when I was lonely, it all melted away and became worth it because I knew I had found a worthy Priesthood holder who would take me to the temple and would be with me in the eternities. I couldn’t hold my smile back and I said I’d love to. We hugged and kissed, and I think he was going to collapse from relief, haha. We went to the blanket and sat down. He then turned to me and said, “Wait, you did say yes didn’t you?” Haha, that made me laugh! He was so nervous he forgot to listen to my answer!
We had a perfect engagement night. The basket was full of Olive Garden, my favorite food. We ate beside the lake while the sun made a beautiful sunset across the Salt Lake Valley behind us. We sat and talked about when we should get married. We decided to make it the first Saturday after summer semester, which was July 25th. He asked me what temple I would like to get married in, and that he always thought he would leave it up to his bride. Ever since I could remember, I wanted to get married in the Salt Lake Temple. He said that he had always wanted to get married there too, so that was special! Sitting there thinking about our future was so exciting, and at the same time overwhelming. We agreed it wouldn’t be easy being engaged, but we couldn’t help but think about how right everything felt.
June 15, 2009
I have so much to catch up on, but right now I feel like the luckiest girl on earth, or rather the most blessed girl on earth because Brian loves me. I was thinking about it today, and I love him so much I feel like crying. He treats me like a literal daughter of a living God. What more could I ask for? Growing up, I never knew what love really was and that it was going to be like this. I can’t believe how alike we are in our thoughts, goals, personalities, and desires. When I picture us in 50 years, I’m sure I’m going to be able to say we have never raised our voices toward one another and that we love each other more than we ever had before. I know he has a strong testimony and desire to be like Christ, and I have never met any one with a stronger desire. He makes me want to be better, and I have found that in doing so I have grown closer to not only him, but to God. I am so excited for what lies ahead of us, even though there may be rough times, I don’t have one doubt that are marriage in just less than six weeks is Heavenly Father’s desire and plan. I know that Brian is the worthy Priesthood holder talked about in my Patriarchal Blessing, and now is the right time. I know that is true as strongly as I know the gospel is true.
July 20, 2009
I am getting married in five days…I can’t believe how soon it is. My life has been absolutely amazing, and I feel bad I haven’t written a lot of it down, but I don’t want to forget anything. Today was our last Sunday in our single’s ward. During relief society and priesthood, Bishop Bradley brought Brian and I into his office and told us how much he loves us. He told us that we are a match made in heaven and that we are one of the best couples he has ever seen…and he has seen a lot of couples. That made us feel so good, and I know it is because we have been obedient to everything we know to be right and all the counsel he has given us. We feel very well-trained between all of bishop’s counsel and the Deming’s engaged couples class that we went to this semester. I know I have learned a lot from them and on my own since we got engaged. I feel like a completely different person, and it is for the better, and it is Brian that is changing me. Whenever I think about Brian, I can’t help but crying for happiness and thinking about how truly happy we are going to be for eternity. I know Heavenly Father loves me because he led Brian and I to each other. I truly have a testimony of the gospel and I know it is true with every fiber of my being. As much as I know the gospel is true, I know it is right for Brian and I to be married for eternity.
I got my endowments in the Rexburg Temple on July 23, 2009, and my mom, dad, Shiloh, and of course Brian were there. Later we headed to Utah to stay at his mom’s house and get ready for the wedding. We were married in the Salt Lake Temple, July 25, 2009 by David S. Ricks. We got there early and were able to sit with each other in the Celestial Room for a whole hour before we were sealed. This has been the happiest day of my life.
We sat in the celestial room for a whole hour! I loved it so much. The spirit was so strong, and there is not a doubt in my mind that we had divine presence there telling us this was right. We sat and held hands and talked about the day and about our feelings for each other. We talked about our future life, and how happy we are and are going to be. We looked in the side mirrors in the room at us sitting together, and we couldn’t help but smile. We looked at the spectacular chandeliers and beauty of the room. People came and went, and they looked like heavenly being dressed in white. I have never felt anything like it before, and it is how I would describe heaven. We weren’t nervous at all, and we had that time to slow down from the rush of things, and ponder, which I think made the day.
Finally a worker came and got us and told us it was time. The sealer, David S. Ricks, came and talked to us and told us how things would work. He then escorted us into the sealing room. Everyone was already seated in there. His family on one side, and mine on the other. Our dads sat by each other near the altar as witnesses. Our moms were on the other side of the altar sitting by each other. We sat by each of our moms. Everyone was smiling at us, and we could feel how pleased they were. Both our moms and dads were emotional. The sealer began talking, and the spirit was so strong, and it did not feel like it was of this world. An eternal perspective opened up, and I became excited for eternity. It was time for us to come together at the altar and kneel across from each other. We took each other by hand and listened to the sealer. The light in Brian’s face glowed. The way he looked at me and smiled at me made me feel safe, secure, and very loved. We kissed, over the altar, and we were married! We stood by each other and everyone lined up and congratulated us as they left the room. Our parents were last, and it was just us in the room with our parents. Dad was crying, which is the second time I have seen him cry. The first was when he told us of mom’s breast cancer. Then I looked at my mom, with a scarf/turban on her head, and I felt a love and appreciation for them more than ever.
We were led back to our preparation rooms. Mom helped my get into my wedding dress. Brian had never seen it, and I was excited to see his face. We were led down a hall, and saw Brian sitting with a worker. I’ll never forget the way he looked at me. Mom went outside, and the worker stopped us and talked to us. He said that we are going to take pictures that we are always going to have to remember. He said that our children are looking down, and he thinks that they would like to see us kiss at the temple, showing them that we loved each other. We then walked up the stairs and outside. Everyone was standing there taking pictures and cheering. They handed me a bouquet of white roses with little blue flowers and blue ribbons. We walked down and everyone gathered and gave us hugs and took more pictures. We moved to the doors of the temple and family gathered behind us and took pictures. It was a hot, bright sunny day, and it was perfect. My heavy dress definitely made me hot, but I was so happy I hardly noticed. We walked around the temple ground and took pictures in different places. Then it was time to go back into the temple and change into our regular clothes.
Today we have been married for over 2 ½ years. Brian is graduating in mechanical engineering in just less than 2 weeks, and I will be graduating in July in graphic design. Since last June, Brian has been a counselor in a single’s ward bishopric, so we both go to a single’s ward. I am proud of him. More than anything we want to start a family. We are still waiting, which has been very hard, but I have faith that we will have our family. I need to continue to build my trust in the Lord and his timing.
